Inbetween Days - The Cure

I am going to attempt resolutions. Again. But this time, I aim for the achievable, I hope.

Five seems like a good number and they are to be a mix of the more poignant, abstract ideas and practical things that I know would make me happier in the long run.

1) Shallowly, I'd really like to stop biting my nails. I like nail polish. And fingerless gloves.

2) I'm going to learn to swim properly. Doctor reckons exercise is a good idea for the long-term plan, and I keep having recurring dreams about being in a deep pool and not knowing how to keep myself up. Granted, my subconscious is perhaps more subtle than a mere lifeguarding instinct, but nonetheless, the practicality of knowing how to swim would inhibit my arbitrary fear of drowning. Also, it would be nice to not feel like a total twat in the swimming pool.

3) I'm going to stop looking at things that make me sad, anxious or paranoid. As in, stalking people. Facebook. Myspace. Twitter. Tumblr. It's going to stop. I'm going to look to the future, focus on the people I love and like, and sever this self-imposed link with past wrongdoings, altercations, liasons. I'm going to do this because it means something to me to be able to let these things go, and because it means a lot to P, for me to be able to.

4) I am going to be a better academic. Not so much in terms of brainpower (though that would be bloody lovely) but in terms of treating this like an actual day-to-day vocational choice, where I work as solidly as I can and mark my progress. I have spent a lot of time over the past few months (I am reluctant to say 'wasted a lot of time' but it is certainly one perspective) getting used to my new life, new surroundings and the art of self-discipline and I need to focus now on the leg-work, the building bricks, the actual formation of text.

5) I am going to be better with money. These debts will not disappear and I know that with some attention (painful though it will be) I can start to get myself into a better position financially.

No resolutions regarding PhD - just to get the application written. Cannot even start to think about what will happen once it goes in.

All in all, 2010, good show. Good show.